HOP - Cowboys & Aliens and Horrible Bosses

Yay!  There is not much better than an overall successful movie hop.  But pair a fairly ridiculous action movie with a hilarious comedy and that is one delicious recipe.

COWBOYS & ALIENS - In a recent post I commented on the acting skill, or lack thereof, of young Noah Ringer.  Well let's just say that this time he was vastly improved, in that he only had probably five words to say and the rest of the time just had to look bewildered and vulnerable.  Daniel Craig lost his usual accent but kept the usual insane pectorals, and Harrison Ford was good and gruff.  A speck or two of comedy was thrown into the movie, very welcome, and some total cheesiness as well, not as welcome but ce la vie.  Most predictable was the bit with actress Olivia Wilde, as even on House I thought she looked a little... off...

HORRIBLE BOSSES - The cast of this movie is amazing, but I have to say that amidst all the comic greatness Charlie Day stood out like a shining beacon lighting the path to hilarity (no idea what that means HA but trust me, he was damn funny).  I would point pretty much anyone in the direction of this movie as it greatly exceeded my comedic expectations.  If you go with the flow and let the stupidity take the reins you will not be disappointed.

The Lincoln Lawyer

Pretty good, not great but good.  Most of it was predictable, from the bikers to the mother, but still an enjoyable watch.  Loved William H. Macy's character, until... (insert spoiler here)  Lots of recognizable faces in this film, all of which did a decent job with the characters they were given.

Camera work in the very beginning was a bit off-putting, bouncing all over the place, but overall the editing was something of note and they did nice work with the flashbacks and memory/storytelling re-creations.  Would I pay to watch?  Probably not more than $4.

Princess Ka'iulani

As this film is about the struggle for independence of the Hawaiian people against American colonization I figured that it would have a bit more conflict, a bit more drama.  But since it is based around the story of a young Hawaiian princess (played by Q'orianke Kilcher, who was Pocahontas in The New World) who tries to ease the transition and maintain the rights of her people, the movie is more gentle and subdued then one might generally expect from the subject matter.

Barry Pepper and Will Patton round out the supporting cast, and anyone who has seen The Tudors will recognize Tamzin Merchant.

Beautifully shot, this is a touching based-in-fact story that lacks a satisfactory arc, with a climax that never really seems to come.

13 Assassins

Could have done without the burning cattle (they probably would have stampeded with a kick in the butt rather than firewood strapped to their backs), and the explosive river of blood was also a bit much.  But the battle sequence of the thirteen assassins (twelve samurai and one random dude seemingly there for comic relief) versus the 200 men was pretty impressive.  I especially liked the walls that flew in to break up the much larger force.  The bad guy's character was way over the top, and some cultural references were definitely lost in translation, but overall I think this was a worthwhile watch from Japanese director Takashi Miike.

The Last Airbender

A total embarrassment, that is what this half-a-movie should be to director M. Night Shyamalan.  He is a clear case of what happens when Hollywood and fame go to your head.

Horrendus acting, especially by newcomer Noah Ringer who with every line sounded like he was reading off cue cards. I hear tell he is to be in Cowboys & Aliens and sincerely hope that he has much improved.  Dev Patel played a conflicted bad guy, and having otherwise only seen him in Slumdog Millionaire this was quite the step down.  You could tell he was trying, but it was not enough.  Shyamalan also used a seriously painful diary monologue in the film, with lines such as "my brother and the princess became friends right away"; I know, I am gagging too.

At certain points in this movie I felt like I was watching the Neverending Story, with Falkor the luckdragon and Gmork, the giant black wolf-creature.  Weird.  Although one redeeming factor was the flying lemur bat.  I mean, who doesn't love flying lemur bats?

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2

Chills.  I had chills the entire time.  The second part of the finale to the Harry Potter saga was visually stunning and overall pretty fabulous.  Of course die-hard Potter book fans are bound to be slightly disappointed with detail left out of the movie, but such is always the case with book-to-movie adaptations.  I could go on about the emotional high and lows, the exquisite caliber of acting, and the action-meets-drama of it all, but what else is there really to say?  It is Harry Potter.  'Nough said.

How I Ended This Summer

A film from Russia, not sure how or where I heard of it but somehow it ended up on my Netflix queue.  At many points during this movie I found myself reaching for the remote to turn it off, but something kept staying my hand.  Maybe it was the cinematography, maybe it was the innate need to know what will happen to these two men isolated in the Arctic, or maybe the remote was just a hairsbreadth too far from my reach.  Whatever it was, I made it all the way through and I feel that is an accomplishment in itself.  A strong character study, but yet with essentially no dialogue, this film relied heavily on the landscape to tell the story of naivete, isolation, and betrayal.

I Am Number Four

I watched this movie a couple days ago, but have not been able to bring myself to sit down and write anything.  It was just so expectedly, terribly bad that I don't know where to start.  Think I will just keep this one simple and straightforward - don't watch this movie.  You will regret it.  Not even Timothy Olyphant, with his badass last name, could save it.

P.S.  What person in their right mind, when being hunted by crazy killer aliens from another planet, would make a pit-stop to a darkroom to develop artsy photos of themselves?!?  ugh

Two Diamond-Related Flicks

Last night was a night of diamonds, both flawed and shining.  I started with Night Train , figuring that with Danny Glover and Steve Zahn it has to be at least mildly entertaining.  Nope.  The movie looked incredibly low-budget, like a student film made on $10K, but worse.  I made it about a half hour in before I could not ignore the waste-of-time feeling and made the executive decision to turn it off (which is a big deal for me, I have a habit of watching even pretty terrible movies all the way through).  Three strangers on a train conspire to steal diamonds and dispose of a dead body?  Not as interesting as you might think.

Enter Flawless, with Michael Caine and Demi Moore.  Another diamond heist movie, but this one not only watchable but in fact rather enjoyable.  A janitor and a manager each have their own motives to steal diamonds from the vault at the London Diamond Corporation.  Your typical "I'm-going-to-steal-something,-but-how?" fare, with the reveal of how it was done saved for the end.  And Michael Caine is just such a solid actor, subtle and charming.

Boot Camp

Hello my fellow film viewers.  In the effort of full disclosure I have to admit that last night I watched a pretty terrible film.  The premise was dumb, with B actors (although Mila Kunis is borderline A, right?), and I cannot really put my finger on why I pressed the "play" button.  It was predictable the entire way but for some reason I kept expecting it to get better.  "Based on true events", the film is about teenagers who are sent to a tough love camp to straighten them out, yet for all the potential this had the film was surprisingly mild.

I mean, I have seen worse movies, at least this one I made it all the way through to the totally preposterous end.  

Mao's Last Dancer

Bravo Australia, I never would have guessed that this film came from your country.  Don't get me wrong, Australia has produced some gems, but Mao's Last Dancer?  Never would have guessed.

Based on the autobiography of Li Cunxin, this movie tells the story of an 11yr-old boy plucked from his poor village in China to study ballet in Beijing.  Years later he is chosen to participate in a study abroad program in Houston and shortly thereafter defects to the States.  It has a political backdrop, and beautifully cuts between his experiences in the U.S. and his childhood years in China.  There are a couple scenes which left my brow furrowed, haha, but overall I would say definitely worth the watch.

Malena

This was a pretty intense, kind of depressing Italian film during which I felt angry, uncomfortable, and disheartened.  However, before you completely dismiss it you should know that as the credits rolled the film left me feeling satisfied.  The story centers around a boy who falls in love with a beautiful woman, played by Monica Bellucci, and watches as the town they live in spreads vile rumors that ultimately tear her apart.  Set against the backdrop of WWII, the film is all about conflict - a confused boy growing up, a young woman whose beauty works against her,  a small town at wartime - all wrapped up in bitterness and gossip.  Bellucci has few lines, yet portrays the gut-wrenching solitude of her melancholy character with stoicism and grace.  The scenes are incredibly powerful, and shot beautifully.

HOP - Transformers 3 and Bad Teacher

I would consider this a successful hop.  Crazy action movie paired with not-so-romantic comedy.  Neither movie took itself too seriously, which made it easier to make fun of the stupid cheesy stuff, and that is half the fun!

TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON - This third installment of the Transformers series is exactly what I thought it was going to be - mind-boggling CGI, lots of explosions and mass destruction, sarcastic funny frantic nervous speech pattern of LeBeouf, and generally stupid content.  It was fabulous.  There were some welcome acting additions, with supporting stars Patrick Dempsey, John Malkovich, and Frances McDormand, and a new face that was just that - a face.  But that is fine, because the role really only called for a long-legged drop-dead model to look simultaneously scared and gorgeous, and run through rubble.  Too bad about her ridiculous scene where she pulled some reverse psychology on Megatron.  So dumb.  But the only real complaint?  Optimus Prime's dialogue was so consistently terrible I couldn't help but laugh every time the leader opened his metal mouth.

BAD TEACHER - Cameron Diaz really stole the show on this one.  I wasn't sure going into this movie, pretty much zero expectations, and I feel that was probably the way to do it.  The surprisingly disappointing factor in the film was Justin Timberlake.  I cannot put my finger on it, but I just thought him, or his character, were not as funny as their potential was.  He did have an unlikable character though, so this time J.Timmy, you will get a "pass".

Heartbreak Ridge

This film was very much typical army-new-recruit fare - seasoned veteran gets tossed in with a platoon of misfits and after much angst they grown to respect one another and fight a precarious yet ultimately winning battle.  You have the smart ass, the dumb one, the tough guy, a few standard filler men and the officer in charge of the base who doesn't want them to succeed.

This film went slightly side-tracked throwing in a bit of a trying-to-win-back-my-ex-wife side plot, but overall relatively predictable story line.  Clint is his usual gritty, squinty-eyed, gravelly-voiced self but it is amusing seeing him try to get in touch with "what women want".  Not to mention one of the best lines ever: "I'm the ayatollah of rock and rolla" :)